Adjective Meows

2010-09-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

Sooner or later, I have to tell you that I love you.

2 things though;

I won't be coming home to see you physically for another year atleast

And eventhough we're the best of friends, I feel as though we no longer share that which has made us close like before. Maybe it's your busy schedule, or the time difference, or our introvert, gloomy personalities that never allow us to respond more than a word whenever we IM. I try really hard to get you out of it though. Maybe too hard. Funny how I always thought you know me in-and-out but I feel as though we've been estranged for years.

No matter what the reason though, I still do terribly miss you. Perhaps some bamboo shoots over coffee sometime?

Is it okay to still wonder why you were reluctant to hug me the last time? If I could read minds, I would.

Hope this doesn't come as a surprise though. If it does, consider it as me trying something new. Lo

2010-08-27T02:16:00.000-07:00

Couple of things I'd like to point out. Apparently skirts and tights are considered comfortable club-wear when one finds themselves in the cold winters of Toronto

Also, all Canadians are gorgeous. Knives Chau has reaffirmed my unhealthy romantic interests towards Asian women with dyed hair. Or girls of Asian descent in general.
I'm totally living in the wrong country.

I must be as beautiful as them, that way they will love me

Regular posts to continue tomorrow

2010-08-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

I'm cooking now. Mostly Italian dishes, for whatever reason. I find it so time consuming to prepare and cook food, and only have enough for myself and half a plate more, that I wonder how my mother does it every single day, 3 times daily, to feed the four of us.

Makes me wonder what else I took for granted about her

2010-08-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

Here you go you two. Took me a while to learn how to smile again.

2010-08-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

To anybody that has ever played The Sims, you'd remember that your avatar's "friendship" to another Sim in the game is represented by a friendship meter. The higher it is, the closer/friendlier and more intimate you'll both be. The lower it is, the more distant and needy they'll be. I remember that the easiest way to fill it up is to repeatedly do one single activity that the other Sim likes. Be it Dinner, Hanging out, a Date, a Picnic, Video games, Talking on the phone, Chatting on the Internet (and for the floozies, WooHoo).

Find that one single activity that they like the most and, like the sadistic pseudo-god you are, spam the target Sim's waking hours with requests to come out and do whatever it is they desire.

If only it was that simple in real life.

Right panda? :p

2010-08-08T23:57:00.001-07:00

I've found the people who I find to be worth suffering for. I love them unconditionally.

I still believe you can still love as well :)

2010-08-04T04:16:00.000-07:00

Why do I find this to be extremely amusing?

2010-08-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

In chronological order;

Wasted my finals by staying up for a week on caffeine, went to cousin's beach wedding and saw dolphins there, languished in limbo because my gaming computer can't connect to the internet, rejoiced when it finally did, went to a 4th of July barbeque, met awesome new friends, reconnected with a Malaysian-American friend from the past 3 years, met her awesome roommate, went with them to their church, visited that church 2 times, met more awesome people, joined a discussion group thing that has over other international students to just chat and hang out.

I can sustain a conversation now :)

2010-08-02T03:38:00.000-07:00

Anthea :D

Ever looked at old photos of yourself, looked at the mirror in your room, and felt the urgent need to redirect your eyes.

And then you realize, your internal thoughts and ideas, your perspective of the outside world, does not match your external, physical look? Suddenly there comes an overwhelming sense of entrapment or imprisonment, and as quickly as it came, the feeling vanishes.

On a lighter note, I had a nice smile.

Note. Where did this urgency to bridge thoughts with "looks" originate from? What is its progenitor? Further inspection needed

P.S. What the hell, did I grew younger?

2010-08-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

I said "I Love You"

She says "I'm calling the cops"

or, "Oooh pretty pictures of cupcakes"

2010-08-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

I hope I haven't permanently damaged what I hope would become a life-long friendship.

Gah, damn it Hazwan. It's 6am. Stop thinking and start sleeping.

2010-07-03T03:39:00.000-07:00

Apparently I have a reader who found this blog by the short story I posted on here. I deduce him/her lives quite close to the college as well.

Hello there mystery reader, I'm assuming you are the author of Brown Eyed Girl? I'd love to claim to be your first number #1 fan

"Brown Eyed Girl"

2010-06-29T01:31:00.000-07:00

Hello there blog. Let me make amends for my absence by bringing in something special.

A week before my finals this past Spring, I was invited to attend the publication of the school's literature journal. It consists entirely of student-submitted works that I find to be rich with fresh stories and ideas, especially so for someone as inspirationally-challenged as me.

I'd like to share a particular one with you. Hope you enjoy it.

Ofcourse, since I'm stuck with a narrow blog template, you have to click the pictures to the bigger versions.

2010-05-16T20:12:00.001-07:00

All you straight-haired bastards have it easy

Birthday Boy

2010-05-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

And so the anniversary of my birth is upon me

What should I do with myself

The Evils of Capitalism

2010-04-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

This special occasion warrants the use of my infrequent WHAT THE FUCK?! card

Usually the price was $329. The worth of my life is reduced to 3 digits.

Insurance companies and the doctors that benefit from it, I hate you and your exploitative capitalist ways. Doesn't the Hippocratic Oath mean anything to you?! What demon can possess a man to be so cruel and heartless, losing all compassion to their fellow human beings?

I for one am going to revel in this country's eventual socialist revolution. The upper-classes need a French-Revolution style ass-whoopin.

Minus the guillotine of course. No one would be bothered to clean up the mess.

Dear Mother.

2010-04-20T00:34:00.000-07:00

How do people deal with loss? Especially to a dependent.

Who are you to me? A source of emotional support and encouragement? Or merely a biological yoke whom I siphon funds from? Why do parents do what you do; to nurture a defenseless babe into maturity in return for some sort of obedience? What provokes this altruism, this practice of your natural abilities? Is it merely to extend your affection to another being that you've brought into creation?

The night father hurriedly brought you to the hospital brought on a whirlwind of affection, grief, and hate that smacked me catatonic. The prospect of orphan-hood kept me awake for the whole week.

"A stroke", said the doctor. Does the spirit-crushing, heartbreaking image of seeing you laying down weakly in a hospital cot, equals in misery to that of a starved brain? The second stroke a week later didn't help either of our constitutions either.

2010-04-17T00:42:00.000-07:00

Lip gloss and Lip balm are two different things.

One prevents your lips from chafing, the other makes you look like your openly inviting people to a session of tonsil hockey.

Both are priced the same, both use interchangeable labels. Doesn't hurt to check the bottle itself before purchase.

I sure do feel good about myself. Part of me was curious as to the unwonted eyes-of-desire that were suddenly tracking me.

Human attraction is a strange concept. Must investigate further.

2010-04-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

*Sigh*

Owh Akiko, if only you knew how much I like you.

and how much my social-ineptness is keeping me from telling it to you

La Belle Dame sans mer-

2010-04-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

La Belle Ezen sans merci,
Thy countenance is of shrewd and cold heart.

La Belle Ezen sans merci,
Thy friendship is of sustenance to the companion.
Who is forever lost in that blizzard, warmthless gales,
blown from the unfeeling lashings of your tongue.

Yet, I call you my friend.
My dear sweet companion, forever vigilant. Forever caring.

To the most sarcastic and loving friend in the whole world.

I Took A Nap Afterwards

2010-03-17T02:56:00.000-07:00

A green bandana I had on my head,
for the rest of the school day.
Because on my crown had it bled.
a gashing wound on display.

Under the table I went;
to fix my broken server,
This would all have been averted,
if I wasn't lost in my fervor.

The edges were sharp,
my posture too poor,
and stood up too fast did I.
So now I am left to tend to my wound,
some ice I have to buy.

That is the tale of how I acquired,
such a ghastly wound.
Yet I still had school, and to not look as a fool,
adorned a green bandana to keep my cool.

And yes, I'm serious about the head wound. Bandanas are the only piece of headgear I had that's loose enough to not aggravate it.

Now how would I make that rhyme...

Where Are You.

2010-03-11T23:04:00.000-08:00

Oh elusive Muse, where art thee,
I summon ye in this time of need,
for I falter in my craft of passion,
And thy humble servant is lacking faith in his own person.

The words and ideas of The Great Masters, do I struggle;
In allowing them safe passage into my mind's eye.
I ask of thee, subdue this Lowly Apprentice's pride, in order
to provide safe harbor for the humble abilities,
that come with an enlightened heart and soul.

Oh elusive Muse, where art thee,
I summon ye in this time of need,
for I shall accept thine gifts with glee,
and with foremost humility.

I'm Spending The Day Gaming :D

2010-02-14T09:42:00.001-08:00

Happy Singles-Awareness Day!

...because you're not the only one who will probably die alone, but that's just me being morbid again.

So go out there and show that special someone that you appreciate them. Whether it be a lover, a friend, a bestfriend, a bestfriend-forever, or even a panda-bestfriend-forever. As socially-driven beings, it's good to know that you have someone in this world who cares about you.

Or a panda for that matter. Rawr.

Sleeping Isn't Easy Too

2010-02-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

I gained a total of 10 kilos in the duration that I was home. My hands finally started to look fleshy. Ghostly-paleness had given way to colour that had just started to return to my extremities. A soothing warmth began to flow again throughout my being. My aunt even commented that my face was getting brighter. I ate at least three times a day then.

The only few scraps of edibles that would pass for food (by my standards, anyhow) which managed to bypass my paper-thin resolve and find it's way down my gullet in the last 52 hours consists only of a burrito, 2 slices of pizza, and a box of chocolate-chip waffles. Not exactly nutritious. All this shivering is making me hungry too. The ever-present coldness is determined to find and hunt me down like a determined stalker.

A stalker with the powers of condensation.

Dizzy

2010-02-06T06:28:00.000-08:00

Hong Kong is weird. Everything is so packed, clustered, in-close proximity of each other. Yet, it is peaceful, slow. As though the earth and the denizens of this small landmass(es) have all consented to living like sardines, without inflicting upon eachother the hectic traumas that would normally befall others living in a densely-populated environ. The skyscrapers, apartment buildings, and mountaintops all stand together, as though the monoliths of man are in a competition to best their natural-counterparts in height and splendor.

That, or I'm woozy from the impromptu flu-shot that nice doctor lady gave me before I went on the plane.

It's cold here. The winter-time wind outside has developed malevolent sentience and had somehow went through the glass walls of this terminal. All of that just to make my lap cold. I would never thought the burning heat of my laptop's undercarriage would be so relieving.

If-It-Doesn't-Make-Me-Cry-Like-A-Little-Girl, No Gain.

2010-01-25T02:02:00.000-08:00

Every fiber in my body tightens and winces as she began to rip off all of those infernal hairs with a pain that, if expressed in inappropriate expletives, would betray the soft-spoken and effeminate nature that caused me to undergo this experience in the first place.

As the auburn-haired attendant took her hands off my forehead, a certain rawness started to settle in. As though my face would be rubbed raw with many tiny salt-laden pumice stones whenever an emotion other than sheer terror was being expressed. There was also another sensation that was present. A certain relief or freedom associated with the sudden renunciation of an ample, troublesome weight. On my face.

Only after the wall of agony-induced tears were blinked away could I peer into the mirror clear enough to see the reflection that stared back at me with a content smirk. Any earlier doubts were seen as childish after seeing how much this had paid off.

After years of looking like an awkward schmuck, I can say I finally look like a normal person now. In the least, its a step in the right direction. Thank goodness for threads and the women skilled enough to trim eyebrows with them.

2010-01-10T05:35:00.000-08:00

The colour is irrelevant. The important thing is that I can finally smile wholeheartedly

:D

2009-12-15T00:37:00.001-08:00

This is Noelle. She's awesome. She also squeezes when she hugs :D

The Weather Is Nice Up Here

2009-12-13T01:09:00.000-08:00

There comes a time in a man's life when outside eyes shall judge him purely by the threads that rest upon him.

Julius Ceasar rode into battle with a lustrous golden breasplate that left his foes stunned in awe.

Edward 'Blackbeard' Thatch's crown was adorned with a unique feathered tricorn, a sight which could only invoke the image of a trident in the Fallen Angel's grasp, rightly so.

Me, however;

I have girl jeans.

Neat and Orderly

2009-12-04T01:54:00.001-08:00

I got me some legs.

"I'm weak, I'm weak"

2009-09-04T02:11:00.000-07:00

"I have an Illness. I'm in my diseased state"

Quack Quack

2009-08-30T00:41:00.000-07:00

I broke my butt.

Specifically, my tailbone. Apparently the human coccyx was never meant to support weight. The pain has gotten so bad to the point that I can't:

-Put on jeans.
-Bend down to pick up said jeans
-Look left and right, while in said jeans
-Walk in said jeans
-Pick up stuff, while wearing aforementioned jeans
-Sit down, in those damn jeans
-Sleep (Oh if I could)

Basically any form or shape of exertion on my spine brings me pain. Butt pain.

School starts up on Monday. At this rate, I have to waddle across campus. Like a duck.
Quack quack.

To Put It Bluntly,

2009-08-23T01:49:00.000-07:00

▫▪Žěй▪▫ → says:
all fortune cookies are general hazicat
▫▪Žěй▪▫ → says:
thats why they're always true

My panda friends always seem to have fresh insight. I envy that.

The Tame Summer

2009-08-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

Well this is a bit of a bother. Summer break is here and I'm not making the best of it. I'm wasting my holidays by stuffing, droning on, and burrowing my face with tv dinners, dvd-ripped shows on dailymotion, and rock-hard pillows, respectively.

My ideal summer consists of wasting my holidays by stuffing, droning on, and burrowing my face with tv dinners, dvd-ripped shows on dailymotion, and rock-hard pillows...

...in a room with cable TV.

Hudda Hudda Hudda

2009-08-08T23:34:00.001-07:00

So recently I met my new partner-in-crime, Eve. She's awesome :D

Also she kicks my arse in rocket dodgeball. Darn you Scruffy :p

What I Learned From Micheal Bay

2009-07-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

Movies don't have to make any sense apparently. They don't even need any kind of artistic value worth redeeming.

All that it needs in order to get braindead sheep to come and pay to watch are boobs and explosions.

Owh and the colour grey. Lots and lots of grey.

Goodnight Sweet Prince

2009-06-25T21:57:00.001-07:00

Farewell, King. You will be missed.

Crosswise View

2009-06-21T02:09:00.000-07:00

Insomnia is my mistress. Sloth is my original sin. Time is my footstool. Gluttony is my national sport. Vanity is the air I breathe. Procrastination is my profession.

I'm worse off drugs than I thought I would be.

On the other hand, time is no longer going backwards.

Day 0

2009-06-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

I love watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire with my laptop whirring lightly, as it fulfills its secondary duty as an adequate thigh-warmer. Wikipedia homepage at the ready. The game hostess puppeters my fingers into the blank space where the vertical bar eagerly blinks, ready to accept my rushed inquiries as I race to cast out correct answers before the on-screen contestant does. I'd imagine it would be me that Meredith Vieira's approving nod would land on as I bask in the thunderous on-cue claps from the studio crowd. The same crowd that I would angrily yell at whenever they get a Ask-The-Audience question wrong.

this couch, my aunt's couch, serves as a good place to nurse my wounds. A welcome week-long respite from the mind-shagging of spring semester. College has been a less than stellar experience thus far. Imagine confused nights with books strewn all over the carpet floor, as teary eyes look up into the sky murmuring "I can't do this. I can't do this" for 6 months. Every night. Only ten times worse with a sprinkle of bitter contempt for your better-off, smarter-than-you-will-ever-be classmates.
I changed my major to Literature as of last week. I defy you, calculus! I only have eternal scorn for you and your know-it-all minions

I can only hope things will calm down for now. I've moved into a smaller room in a house literally right across the road from campus. The owner is quite a laid-back person, an English teacher with a dog and a cat. Used to be two canines, except the previously-featured Husky ran away a few weeks ago. Interesting to consider how a full-coated snow dog would hold up in Southern California weather.

Do they sell clean slates in 7-11?

2009-05-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

Happy 19th Birthday to the failure/sanitarium patient in pending.

Iz Outside Joor Roomz, Ready 2 Nomz Joo.

2009-05-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

This doggie won't leave me alone. She's camping outside my room, and given my mortal fear of anything that has teeth bigger than mine, I can't get out.

She looks like she wants a pet but in actuality she wants to eat me.

Generic Action Pose & Silent Screaming Time!

2009-04-07T17:58:00.001-07:00

Waiter, there's a black-haired Australian in my beloved, but violently-raped childhood franchise.

For goodness sake. Bulma has boobs and a gun. And Chow-Yun Fat is wearing a Hawaiian shirt with no oversized turtle-shell

2009-04-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

This is the land of awesome hair, and I am its king!

Young Romance

2009-03-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

JuYehh says:
at least i can do some justice standing next to my boyfriend

Awwwwwwwwwh.

2009-03-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

click to enlarge

The internet is run by brain-dead, Jonas Brother loving, pre-teen girls.

We're doomed.

"Molotovs! Over Here!"

2009-03-06T19:32:00.001-08:00

I need this shirt. Eventhough in public I'm just going to wear a jacket over it.

Boo!

2009-03-06T01:16:00.001-08:00

Most awkward thing happened.A few minutes ago I realized I misplaced my phone somewhere in the room. Before panicking like a headless chicken, I decided to knock on my housemate Gueirmo's door and ask to use his phone.
Fortunately like me, he's a night-owl.(Unlike me, he was up making demo tapes) We were searching high and low when we heard the distinct vibrate-mode buzz. Turns out it was stuck under my laptop the whole time.

Im a doofus.

Everyday the bus decides that a 25 minute walk to school would be good for me. I'm forced to sneak past this person every time I cross the road.

I didn't dare take a picture from the front. People in oversized mascot costumes make me cower in horror.

Nerd Rage Rising

2009-02-25T22:57:00.001-08:00

Hmm. Lets point out a few things wrong with this.

Chun-Li is being played by Kristin Kreuk of Smallville fame. Instead of, ya know. Anybody that atleast looks remotely Chinese.

Kristin Kreuk doesn't have thighs. Chun-Li has thighs. Gorgeous, beefy thighs.

Vega, who in the game is portrayed as a Spanish bullfighter-esque character, is being played by Taboo of the Black Eyed Peas. What?

Their not wearing the costumes!

Kristin doesn't have thighs!

Inevitable crapfest of a movie. Atleast get the aesthetics right to appease us gaming types. The least you could do is get an actress with the body of a woman and not of a middle-schooler.

A Bit Nippy.

2009-02-14T02:25:00.001-08:00

It's cold. It is just, cold. I can describe it in a few different ways but thatt won't make this room any warmer.

So I'll go ahead anyways.

It's the kind of cold that ignores the fact that the blazing sun is furiously staring down upon a totally cloudless Los Angeles.
It's the kind of cold that makes you wear a long-sleeved sweater with the sleeves rolled up that makes other people think "Oh, his chest is cold but his arms aren't."

*also the kind of cold that makes you think "Oh, but its so bright and sunny outside, I shall go for a jog in my thick wool sweater and only a thin runner's shorts to keep my buns and thighs warm"*

It's the kind of cold that forces you to be asleep during the day and awake during the night. Right now its 2.39 a.m.
It's the kind of cold that makes you turn the hot-shower tap all the way up until it breaks of the handle. Followed by a painful "AAAAAAAHHH" and a relieved "aaaaah" in quick sucession.
It's the kind of cold that makes you flip the pillow several times so you can savour the chilly side(s) of it.

It's the kind of cold that's no longer confined only in the air surrounding you. The cold is in you. You are part of the cold. You are one with the cold.

The kind that makes you touch your fingertips to your face periodically for no reason other than that your able to do so.

So, I have a new housemate. His name's Gueirmo, from Venezuala. Around my age. He looks like one of those guys you see in Latin soap dramas. Wind-swept hair. Well-defined chin. Awesome accent. The whole package of some sorts. He also plays the electric guitar and the keyboard. Quite good at it too.

I wonder why there aren't any girls moving into this place.

2009-02-09T19:59:00.000-08:00

I wonder why the air always has a whiff of sanitizer, roasted coffee, and steamed corn. Holding my head up and sniffing from time-to-time is quite pleasurable.

2009-02-04T09:28:00.000-08:00

You can either choose to blame your circumstances on bad fate, bad luck, or bad choices. One is irreversibly shoved into your arms, one unsuspectingly drops on your noggin,and the other is like an open palm. Either waiting to slap you in the face or give a congratulatory handshake. For me, it's a little both of A, B, and C.

But hey, I've only been sleepwalking through 17 years of getting unmercilessly shatted on, only being able to keep myself going with daydreams of future greatness, but then when the opportunity came to start life anew, I got shoved, dropped, and slapped upon. What do I know.

I get it that during highschool, being brilliant is a marvelous trait. But through self-experience, I can never really "control" it, per say. For those of you who are able to summon your respective "gifts" as easily and as frequently as batting and eyelash, good for you. But to a mind as frail as a twig, not so much. Highschool was torture, but not as demanding as the previous year. It's like having someone grab you by the collar of your shirt and shaking you violently while screaming in your mouth "Be Brilliant! Be Brilliant Goddammnit! Either this or end up as a wasted druggie in a ditch!"... Which I can't. I have flaws, and being amazingly substandard is one of them.

Sometimes I envy my cats. They get to live flawed lives. In ignorant bliss. The red, fat one lost its lower lip, the white one is always cranky, and the new kitten has a meow that breaks eardrums. And my family loves them all the same. They get frequent cuddles and even managed to learn how to order us to fill up their food bowl every 10 minutes. For them its perfection .None the wiser, those cats are.

"I Had A PopTart"

2009-01-31T10:09:00.000-08:00

Produced by Celine's own muse, Cecelia Ahern. Basic Idea: Christina Applegate stars as a girl with awesome hair that gets retrograde amnesia and tries to regain her memories about her relationships, job, etc.

Did I mention she has AWESOME hair? I can't stop staring at it.

First the Needle, Now this.

2009-01-31T08:10:00.000-08:00

As an alternative to smoking, cannabis may be consumed orally. However, the cannabis or its extract must be sufficiently heated or dehydrated to cause decarboxylation of its most abundant cannabinoid, tetrahydrocannabinolic acid, into psychoactive THC.

-Wikipedia

Also, the effects take longer to kick in as the body begins to digest the contents. Around 1 or 2 hours of sobriety. Once it enters the bloodstream, the high lasts waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

..aaaaayy longer than smoking it.

I did not know that the first time I tried.

Didn't taste that good, that's for sure. I spent the night merrily reading random wikipedia articles, however, come midnight and things start to... change.

When the walls start to sway left and right, when multiple disembodied voices are becoming clearly audible, when paranoia starts to muscle its way in with furious determination, when your heart starts to beat so fast you feel you're going to have a heart attack, when you begin to understand the inner workings and designs of the universe and the purpose of all who inhabit it ,when your browser history page is filled with Wikipedia articles in the order of:

"Hair > Hair Colouring > Fake Hair > Wigs > Synthetic Wigs > Synthetic Fabric > Fabric Softener > Static Cling > Static Electricity > Coulomb's Law > Charles-Augustin de Coulomb> Collège des Quatre-Nations > University of Paris > Paris, France > Fashion > Hairstyle > Hair."

..is when you know you are definitely, irreputably, undeniably, blatantly, high on the good stuff.

I was so full of it, I had to retire to my bed (which was already strewn with a case-worth of empty water bottles).

I was so full of it, I became paranoid of my own thoughts. I'd be crying to myself " THATS NOT NORMAL! THATS NOT NORMAL! THATS NOT NORMAL!" every 5 seconds.

I was so full of it, the movie "Dude, Who Stole My Car?" and the tv show "Gossip Girl" actually made sense to me!

Good news, I'm officially pot/heroin/ecstacy free for a week now.

Irony is, my doctor told me I have low blood pressure. Now that just doesn't make sense

Shiiiiiiiny

2009-01-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

The first on the right. Would look good on my faux hair

I'm androgynous, and I like shiny things.....and I'm androgynous.

Weeeeeee.

Instant Gratification. I Has It.

2009-01-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

Camera phone pictures don't do justice. Laptop on a TV. I'm so easily amused.

Whippadee-doo-da

2008-12-31T08:27:00.000-08:00

Great, another depressing 365 days to look forward to.

Damn loud people and their damned loud fireworks, can't a miserable sod get high in peace anymore? And with that many people outside its impossible to get stoned in a place that's not crowded. Damn party-goers.

Happy, Fah reeking New Year to you happy, happy people.

wooo.

2008-12-26T20:08:00.000-08:00

99% of my time in America was spent living in isolation. From my little room, to college, back and forth for 11 of the 12 months I was there. A little too similar to the previous 5 years wasted during high school. I question the current state of my sanity.

I need to go out more. Maybe this Sunday I'll frolic around KLCC. Maybe watch 'Bolt', walk around Kinokuniya, participate in some people watching, look around for prospective drug dealers.

Kidding, kidding. I'm gonna watch 'The Spirit' instead.

Oh Barnacles

2008-12-24T02:16:00.000-08:00

Ow phooey. I went feeling like a stranger, and I came back feeling like a stranger. Its like having the same steak dinner which I had thoroughly enjoyed before and now saying "but I don't want eeeet!!" (obviously copied sentence)

Miserable Bastard feels unfulfilled. Miserable Bastard needs to go out more before he becomes Sad Miserable Bastard.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Owh, and why is depression the "in" thing right now? Can't us sad sods loathe our mental instability in peace without some better-off, preppy brats trying to turn it into a fad? (Sort of like how legions of teenage girls transformed the image of a vampire from vicious Transylvannians into a pre-pubescent, rural American , lovey-dovey McDreamy who-happends-to-have-just-the-right-amount-of-hairgel)

I'm appalled. Leave it to the people who have actually tried doing away with themselves, little children.

*Tries to cut self with a toaster*

2008-12-21T10:12:00.001-08:00

How should I say this without making myself sound like a 13 year-old who his first sight of a gorgeous women was a model in a tv commercial.

So back in LAX I found myself in the terminal where people wait to board the plane. All the time I was waiting, I scanned the room to find lots and lots of old people. Its as though there was a sale on prune juice going on. Due to getting the window seat, I loathe the thought of having an old guy sandwiching me in. Although when the time came to board the plane, I was jostling between a sea of bags and people to find my seat. And to my surprise, there wasn't an old person near my whole aisle.

Only a hot girl.

I'm not being sexist or anything, but she was gorgeous. Filipino, shapely, around her early 20's, and all around quite the looker. She was to me as Ryan C. is to Juyi. And she was my row mate for the rest of the flight to Taiwan.

No, its not good news, its bad new. Horrible news even. And not for the reason that I'm slightly bi, but because I become the biggest dork in the world around women who captivate me. Hell, I'm the reigning champion. I can give you a list of things I did to make myself feel like a huge arse, but its 2am and I'm still jet lagged. Take my word that I made a fool out of myself for 18 straight hours.

Oh, and one more thing regarding my flight-mate. Well...not to judge or anything, but lets just ask ourselves when did a thong became a suitable substitute for normal undiewear? Its a piece of string. For those who find that kinda stuff attractive.... Good for you.

Humbug

2008-12-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

There was this post on this gaming blog I frequently visit, Kotaku.com, and it was featuring this other post from a blogger named as The Resigned Game. Calling him "pessimistic" is a gross understatement. Personally I get so upset I want to cut myself... with a toaster. But how pray-tell, does one cut oneself with a toaster?

Eitherway, this was the video that was featured on Kotaku.

Now, this little jewel of a reply by a poster named 'Ashurahori' in the comments section caught my eye. Take a good long read.

Ashurahori
7:33 PM on Sat Dec 6 2008

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I love looking at existencially conflicted people who look at life and find it meaningless and pointless.

Because, although I've lived plenty of life experiences, I wouldn't give away my life for anything, because what I've felt, lived, touched, smelled, seen and heard, I treasure with me forever, and anxiously await what the next day will bring.

Because I have felt several different kinds of happiness, and they're all more wonderful than the last. And life... life is INCREDIBLE. Life is wonderful, full of different meanings and feelings which nobody can fully understand.

Looking at these people, it's like enjoying the greatest steak dinner I've ever had in a restaurant, and seeing a grown man, my age, in the next table, crying over his dinner (same as mine), saying "I DON'T WANT IT!". It's funny to see how people just can't make the most of what they're given.

I've lived through depression, finding out about wife's multiple affairs, divorce, death of a parent, suicide of a friend, long-term poverty, and so much more.

And no matter how much shit is thrown my way, I have always, ALWAYS been able to enjoy how incredible life is. And I've never given up on living every single day of my life as if it was my very last one.

Simple things in life, like hugging your best friend just because you feel like it, putting on your new Christmas present-socks in a cold winter night and appreciate how warm they feel, going to the library, picking up a random book and reading it from beginning to end fascinatingly, drinking hot chocolate while it's raining outside...

...they don't just feel good. They feel RIGHT.

To every single one of you, never give up in life, at least until you've tried all of these things:
- True friendship
- True love
- Parenthood

If you haven't... well, how can you even judge life if you haven't lived it?

Ow boo, now the miserable bastard in me is inspired.

2008-12-03T14:48:00.001-08:00

1) Disgustingly handsome male lead? Check.

2) Awkward but sweet female lead? Check.

3) Film noir atmosphere? Check.

4) A movie adaptation of a book whom none of you have ever heard of beforehand? Check. (Thats right, don't give me that BS)

5) TV stations going on and on about how this is "a full blown cultural phenomenon"? Check.

6) A mislead notion that all vampires are romantic and lovey dovey? Check.

7) Mostly teenage cast? Check.

8) Mostly teenage audience? Check.

9) Mostly female-AND-teenage-based audience? Check.

10) Mostly female-AND-teenage-audience-that-are-the-same-people-that-buy-those-tacky-little-High-School-Musical-dolls? Check.

20 minutes into that movie, I cried "Thats it, this is torture!", and barged right out of the door. The miserable bastard in me is deeply appalled by that pre-teen, histerical tear jerking "awwwwww"-fest of a "movie".

Is it me, or is the movie industry caught within the vice-like chokehold of the 'teen girl' market audience?

If you'd all excuse me, I'll be cleansing myself from the evils of that movie by shooting off the heads of zombies.

It's strange, his girly screams are identical to my girly screams!

2008-11-26T07:31:00.000-08:00

I never knew what is so appealing about online networking sites, perhaps I've grown out of it. Take Facebook for example, I've seen people change their relationship status 4 times a week and their update status almost as many times per-day.

Whats with people nowadays? I wake up a miserable bastard and I go to sleep a miserable bastard. I don't constantly go from giggly to cautious.

Live!

2008-11-22T19:17:00.000-08:00

Haha, God(?) Bless American Internet speeds. Watching What The Buck?, Will It Blend guy, Chad Vader, LisaNova, Tay Zonday, the Free Hugs guy, and assorted youtube stars in YoutubeLive! through internet broadcast is so entertaining.

Le Sigh

2008-11-20T15:02:00.000-08:00

I know a particular someone who would cause me major bodily harm if I don't go to this

Wildfires

2008-11-15T14:12:00.000-08:00

The sky is a sickly red, and the air smells like burnt wood. I can literally see pieces of ash collecting into the open palms of my hand whenever I'm outdoors. It's so hard to stay out, even my stinking room is a more welcome respite.

Its supposed to be winter. Cold, foggy, maybe even a bit damp. Not post-apocalyptic.

No Better

2008-11-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

So, while people were voting for their future President, a little proposition called Prop 8 got passed.

As you might not know, Prop 8 seeks to ban gay marriage, which has been legal in California up to know.

Why would somebody take away a person's civil rights just because their sexual orientation is different?

Its discrimination and prejudice, plain and simple. No better then when Japanese-Americans were confined in internment camps during World War II, in their own country. No better then when the Nazis persecuted the Jews. No better then when Latinos and Blacks were not allowed to marry who they want to. No better then when the Anglo Saxons invaded England, and wiped out the local Britons. No better then when White settlers went at war with the Native Americans.

Hopefully the Supreme Court will revoke this bigoted act. No matter what your moral view is, nobody has the right to take away a persons constitutional civil right.

Finally

2008-11-04T20:25:00.001-08:00

Barack Hussein Obama II

President Elect

Tee Hee Hee

2008-10-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

You know whats the best part about not being home for Eid? Don't have to listen to the rubbish they've been playing over the radios for 40-something consecutive years.

I wonder if Bill Maher's 'Religulous' is airing back home.

=D

The Connections That Bind Us

2008-09-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

To me, spirituality/preaching is something that should be kept private. Better kept to oneself instead of paraded around like a newborn baby strapped inside a stroller where middle-aged women would incessantly go "goo-goo" and "gaa-gaa" after. Which caught me on the fence when I got to know better this country's infactuation with worships of higher deity(ies).

You see, a certain number of religious people here are.... how could I put this kindly, "enthusiastically preachy". I assume I won't need to elaborate further. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not branding entire groups, just these... eccentric few that piqued my interest.

It was a sunny Thursday afternoon. The approaching fall winds force me to retreat in a cacoon of layered sweaters, conflicting with the still-strong temperatures of the fleeing summer. It was the last day of school for the week, and I took my usual route home through the campus lawn. People running around, standing around, sitting around, sleeping on the grass, studying on the grass, making-out on the grass. Nothing out of the ordinary. I strolled my merry way as usual, when I passed by this man.

Chunky and stocky in build, clad in modestly faded khakis and a simple brown shirt, this man crutched under his arm a stack of flyers that were made to look like giant $100-dollar bills that he gave to passers-by.(Fake tender ofcourse, later as I examined the flyer more closely I found religious-esque related writings printed upon the other side).

Uttering "Good day" as he passed me one of the grossly-sized flyers, I took the time to pause and answer back with an unattentive but sincere "thank you", as to not come off as rude. However, as I was beginning to re-continue my stride, this man asked pleasantly for a moment of my time so he could ask me a question. Being in a generous mood, I stopped and entertained his request. When I asked what question he had in mind, he muttered and I quote;
-
-
-

"Sir, how would you feel, if you were to die today?"

It came to my realization that this man is a preacher , the type of person who actively "spreads to good word", as they would say.

Now, far from being taken aback, this man tingled my curiosity. As irreligious as I am, I had to give this man credit for standing outside on a blistering day, carrying flyers around and socializing with unknown passers-by. So as my reward to him, I gladly spent 10 minutes of my time, instead of hurrying to the bus stop, listening to his - gospel(?), while returning the favor with banter only possible from a curious, unbiased observer.

I won't disclose any of the conversation topics I discussed with the man, but I can say that throughout our exchange this man came off to me as a sensible, respectful, and calm person. Never once did he spouted hateful garbage, instead focusing on messages of love and acceptance for the fellow man, centered toward the self and singular. I applaud this man, for being an excellent example of sensible followers of his particular belief. This world needs more respectful and rational people like him.

But then again, isn't that the common goal of whichever belief humans hold, as a species? To one day accept one-another, regardless of any bias.

Eitherway, I enjoyed each of those 10 minutes that I traded back and forth with that individual. All the more reason for me to go through with my pipe-dream of travelling and learning the ways of the world.

Owh, also notice that throughout this post I never once mentioned and/or disclosed a particular belief. Plus, I never told the man who I really was. Food for thought.

Gah, my nose is cold. Need to get some sleep.

I pity you all for not being able to play God.

2008-09-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I did something so- unthinkable, so unmentionable, so... unreal, that I'm still shaken to my very core. Something so unspeakable, I thought I would never, ever be capable of.

........

I bought original software. For full price. And not just any piece of software.

Sweet mother of pearl, I'm starting to respect other people's intellectual properties! I couldn't even bring myself to download it off ThePirateBay.

I call him Meownite, for reasons obvious. Isn't he an adorable antler-ed, 4-armed, blue-green skinned, pseudo cat-lizard... thing?!

Vain Veins

2008-09-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

What do the kids say these days? It seems I was 'tagged'. In a photo atleast.

*Best British accent*

Yes, munch on that cookie. Show that piece of chocolate chip naughtiness whose boss. In all of your green-shirted and brown-haired glory. Fully decked out in your cargos, smack-dabbed on a beach. A sandy beach. The kind of sandiness that deposits itself deep within your pants. The kind of sandiness thats hard to walk through. And having a knee condition doesn't help either

Yes, your a... a sexy beast. Arent you? Arentchayou? Meow-raaawr.

Anybody have an airpump? Mine just broke from over-inflating my ego

Thanks for taking the pic, Claudine!

Don't Ever Cross Me, Ian

2008-09-02T21:22:00.001-07:00

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
SETTLE WITH A....
Hazicat, I Miaw
says: err
Hazicat, I Miaw says: hmm
Hazicat, I Miaw
says: err
Hazicat, I Miaw says: hmm
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
i dono xD
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
an indian gal?
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
milk + coffee!!!
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
hahaha you're outta control
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
true what
Hazicat, I Miaw
says:
girls are like M&M's ian
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ
† ¤ ««« says:
M&M's?
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
yea
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ †
ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
melt in your mouth, not in your hands??
xD
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
they come in different flavours
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
.....
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
YOU PANDA PERV
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
DUDE
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
THATS M&M'S TAGLINE
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
......
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
you perv
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
i thought YOU were the perv
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
im telling juyi about this
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
no, you ar!
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
fineeee i'll tell her you said M&M's!
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
rofl
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
go ahead!
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
xD
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
dude stop it, you're treating JuYi is like mom or
something xDD
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
remember the "different flavours part"
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
well
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
normally
she's the sane one
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
yes yes i will
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
noooooo shes hardly ever sane
Ħǿ¥Ŝčķĺë »»» ¤ † ŦŗêpĭĐâŦņ Øf FàţáĻîŦŷ † ¤ ««« says:
EVER
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
well, most of the time shes the voice of reason, soo...
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
im telling on youu!!!
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
xD
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
owh
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
and for the record
Hazicat, I Miaw says:
im copy and pasting this to my blog =p

2008-08-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

I have a solution to the racism issue back home!

Put something in the water, so that everyone would have grey complexions and equal monotone-voices!

Problem solved! Now, does anybody have the number of a comic book villain? Preferablly the mad scientist kind.

<.sarcasm>
Do away with identifying oneself with any group or creeds! The Fuhrer would definitely recommend it! <./sarcasm>

Ah, jokes aside. Screw national identity! IMMA GETTIN MAH GREENCARD!

Hmm

2008-08-22T01:17:00.000-07:00

So I went to this picnic in a quaint little park a week ago. It was thrown for this international student group I'm a part of, coincidentally the guy in charge is also a Malaysian, although he left at the same age as I am now and never went back.

There was food, games, sports. A little dog the size of a woman's purse came over and sniffed my leg profusely before going off to sniff some other sap's leg. I would have petted it, but technicalities arose. Meh. I should have moved, atleast shifted uncomfortably aside, but my crippling fear of anything that has teeth bigger than mine kicked in. There was also a bit of volleyball, but I sat it out due to the knee job I had 2 months ago. I suck at physical exertions of competition anyway.

Eitherway, a little later into the day another group of people joined us. All women. I didn't noticed them at first so I continued half-mindedly sipping the soda I had in my hands. A few minutes later I heard a feminine but reasonably loud "HAZWAN!" from out of the blue. I turned around to see one of the women from the group approaching me with the shiniest of smiles. She actually looked around my age though. There was an awkward moment when she finally come up to me, "from where do I know this person?" I told myself. A moment and a strange handshake later we got the ball rolling. It appeared she's Malaysian too, and the other women in her group were here aunts. She attended my college for a semester a year ago and has been here ever since. You know the type of people who are enthusiastically friendly? Thats her. Hmm. Might try to follow up on her.

Vertically Challenged?

2008-08-13T23:11:00.000-07:00

Lately on this side of the pond there has been quite alot of chatter about Olympic gymnasts. Specifically China's women's gymnastics team. The common question is, are they even women yet?

(Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

Some say their 16 or so, some say they're not. Now what you have to understand about Asian physiology *waves-hands-in-a-spooky-manner*, mostly those who originate from anywhere on the vast continent of Asia are genetically predisposed to be smaller in stature compared to our counterparts from the rest of the world. Don't worry, "we" thought of the same thing when we saw you people.

I mean, during the 2-3 months I've spent on my parent's resort, the biggest question on my mind was what did they put in your water to make you people flippin huge? (and as pale as a polar bear standing on a mound of paper plates in the middle of a snowstorm)

But then again, I can't blame the majority of people (over here anyway) who think that the gymnasts are underaged. Most likely they picture 16 year-olds as those who are chronically inclined towards copulation and have severe cases of 5-o'clock-shadow.

Fascinating creatures, aren't they?

Poor Lazlo

2008-08-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

Mei ah, Lazlo is love-sick because of you. Everytime I turn him on the account is stuck to yours for reasons unknown. Which makes for some hysterical in-game moments.

What did you to to Lazlo?! Mei ah..

2008-08-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

I just noticed my posts don't have date stamps. Strange.

So, The World Ends With You & Guitar Hero for Lazlo. Mass Effect and The Sims on this laptop. Team Fortress 2 & Rosetta Stone on my external drive. 3 months worth of food inside that new fridge my landlord just bought 1 week ago. And enough snacks in my mini-fridge to induce widespread diabetes on a small island nation.

So why do I feel a little dead inside? It's not like I watched 2 Girls 1 Cup, or 2 Girls 1 Finger. The music in those doesn't make the visual presentation any better.

-----------------------------------------------
One day I was geeking out with a classmate about videogames, the internet....and math. You know, the usual. Then a non-geek came outta no where and sheepishly told us to "get a life".

Now you see, my logic is that in real life, things often suck. In our little world of of uber nerdom, theres only victory, glory, and gold... pixels

Now if you would excuse me, I need to get my geek on.... Don't look.

Swaying Walls

2008-08-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

Well then, might as well quit holding this off.

It's suprising how things in this town can be shoved away from the public eye so quickly. It seems celeb activities take precedence over seismic ones, but then again I'm in the middle of Crazytown, USA.

Some of that crazy must've rubbed off on me. During the earthquake I was among the first to bolt out the library doors......oh, and to top it off I instinctively barrel-rolled in the air until the momentum carrying my body left me at a complete stop and sprawling right in the middle of the campus lawn. In plain view of everybody else who were too much of a goody-goody to attend summer school.
Earthquakes, fun for the whole family.

One more thing in the list, why is everything now a musical or an indie film? I blame Zac Efron and Ellen Page. They make us actual pretty boys look bad.

Oh wait, Efron is the one thats not a dude right?

1 Day Conundrum

2008-07-23T16:50:00.001-07:00

MAS called me yesterday. Unfortunately I was in class so the lady on the phone left me a voicemail stating that my flight on the 17th is gonna be changed to the 16th. I've been trying to call them about it, but I've been put on-hold for about 5 minutes every single time.

My attention span isn't that enduring.

Oh, I'm still having difficulty making my ~~hand~~cellphone ring by looking at it. I've tried staring, gandering, and oogling it, but to no avail.

My Tendons!

2008-07-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

Guess who? Lazlo finally has somebody to play with.

I got it in the mail yesterday. Suprisingly I calmly opened the box, instead of tearing open the package like a pre-pubescent 12-year old. It comes with a guitar grip(the colored buttons that my fingers are touching) and a guitar pick styled stylus. The game is excellent for a portable version of Guitar Hero, but I had just one minor issue.

The way you're supposed to hold it is a bloody pain. The game's opening screens comes with a health advisory stating that it is better to keep your wrist straight while holding the device. Easier said than done. Even for my big hands my pinkie could barely reach the last button. Also, as you can see in the pic my wrist is at a right-angle, which is the most natural way to see the screens without cramping your arm or tilting your head.... if you have a strong wrist.
Mine are already weak as it is due to previous wrist related..... mishaps.

Good thing however, that I brought this from home.

My suicide bracer (which is as stiff as a cast) helps to some degree. I can play a few more minutes without hitting pause. Extremely helpful when your playing a song on expert. However the health advisory also states that you should take a break every fifteen minutes, so it depends on the person. This may either be a minor inconvenience or a mild annoyance, but shouldn't effect the gameplay in any significant way. (Btw. the game also has an option to flip the screen 180 degrees for left handed people, which is a nice addition)

--------------------------------------------

The stitches for the guitar grip came off yesterday nite, so I had to hastily sew it. Not bad eh? Considering I had never done any stitching before.

Do you know how hard it is to thread a needle? Do you?

2008-07-12T16:52:00.001-07:00

The double-click button on my mouse isn't working for some reason.

I'm a one-click cripple.

Experimentation

2008-07-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

Curiously, crushed Altoids mints looks alot like.... what do the young whippersnappers call it these days, "flake", "snow", and "kibble and bits"?

Not only do I have a clean breath, but my nostrils are minty fresh!

Coincidentally, I have a mild allergic reaction in the form of a sneeze whenever I swallow one. but who cares. Lets go with "I'm practicing how to enduce certain emotions at will".... Why not start with euphoria?

For all I know the placebo is working. I see poooollkkaaa-dots =D

The Red, Comfy Menace

2008-07-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of SplitReason.com.

90 percent and 15 ounces of warm, comfy Socialism.

"You want to get what shirt?!"

"Its not a shirt ma, its a hoodie-"

"But it has the hammer and sickle! Since when did you turn Red? I thought I left you in America"

"No, its not communist ma, its socialist... and you know how much I like statement apparel.."

"Don't tell me your a com-"

".. and capitalism. I like capitalism too. Red White and Blue this and that. Relax"

"I wonder what would happen if we left you in Russia..."

"Ha, ha. funny."

Oh dear mum, but then again, I can't blame her since she grew up during The Emergency. Although I thought she knew I'm too much of a goody goody to do such things. Having a child away from the nest must be quite an ordeal for parents.

Decisions, Decisions

2008-07-05T00:03:00.000-07:00

I'm at a crossroads that could pretty much determine how I'm gonna waste a month's worth of my freetime. Which one should I get, Spore for the PC?

Or Guitar Hero: On Tour for the DS? (Yes, Guitar Hero for the NDS. I can hear you squealing all the way from here Mei)

I worship the very air Will Wright breathes, let alone any game that came from his creative hive-mind. But, Lazlo has been collecting dust all this while. He needs some lovin.

Sweet Lemons

2008-07-03T23:56:00.000-07:00

I'm currently suffering from a bout of procrastination and uninspiredness. The latter smothers itself all over my recent attempts at writing. I'm not sure what the cause is, my thoughts are as plain as cotton fluff inside a dumpster behind a paper plate factory in the middle of a blizzard.

Uninspiredness isn't even a word.

Perhaps its summer school. Having to wake up at 5am every morning, trudge 2 miles back home, resist falling into a 4 hour nap, then try to study, all on an empty stomach, for 4 straight days of every week must had forced my body to divert any energy available just so I won't starve to death. My wounds from that staircase incident aren't even the slightest bit healed yet.

Sometimes I wonder how my cats back home survive, let alone prosper in a situation like this. Since I'm no longer home, my cousin has moved out, and the non-meowing side of my family preoccupied on the island, the cats are left home alone for months on end with only a timed cat-food feeder and 2 huge bowls of water. And STILL whenever my mom visits home for a week, she'll find them fatter than they originally were. Resourceful little furballs, they are.

Enough of flashbacks. Something not-so-ordinary thing (even for me) happened during my English class a few days ago. Over the weekend we had to do an essay for the proffesor and hand them in (mine was about a petshop, don't ask), on that day she gave them back out but requested to speak to me in private. I asked whats the matter but she threw me all these weird questions related to my essay. I asked her (politely) to stop beating around the bush, to which she explained that my essay was highly suspected of being a product of plagiarism.

"It was so entertaining and clear, especially the introduction, that it seems rather identical to a certain article I've read before"

Really? I'm not so sure how many student-made petshop related pieces that are out there to begin with.

I have to be more careful about being more specific on my pieces, I don't want to end up in academic probation right after getting a 4.0 GPA last semester.

Another post from an actual msn convo

2008-07-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

▫▪Žй▪▫ → says:
u know how in restaurants there sometimes r ppl who talk so loudly like they own the restaurant

▫▪Žй▪▫ → says:
sometimes with my friends we start saying what they're saying or laughing as loud as they are

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
wakakakak

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
next time bring meee

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
eh eh

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
and do it commentary style!

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
like its an episode of croc hunter =p

▫▪Žй▪▫ → says:
ahahaha

▫▪Žй▪▫ → says:
the urbanized panda

▫▪Žй▪▫ → says:
the effects of modernazation has taken it's toll on the once innocent panda species

▫▪Žй▪▫ → says:
a very special panda friend has agree to let us into the secret life of the modern pandas

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
xD

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
eeh ehh

Hazicat, I Miaw says:
copy and paste this!

Lazy lar. PandaZen infected me with lazy.

The Butt Doctor

2008-06-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

If you're wondering what I've been doing everytime I go online, take a gander;

I frequent the server, most of times the only thing I do is go afk, get some snacks and listen in on the daily banter of the players, but this is only the tip of the iceberg. If you stayed around for 5 minutes on the server with these fellas, you'd pass out from laughing too much.

Excuse the crude humour, I know. But this was too good. Thanks Team ROOMBA =D

"Tee hee hee, were going to be future proctologists!"

Hazicat the College Kid Diaries!

2008-06-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

In this edition;

In this country, I'm pretty much okay with 3 of the 4 seasons, but summer is insane. The air itself is acts like a wool blanket, my room is warmer than the outside during a blazing afternoon.

So forget chilling your undergarments. I've stuffed half of my wardrobe into the fridge and set the freezer to max. I even stuffed the mini-fridge in my room full with my pillows and bolsters until it looks like some kind of weird marshmallow-experiment-gone-wrong is trying to bust out and eat me.

Yesterday I slept standing inside the closet. And I duct taped the doors shut. Just in case. You know how crafty Marshmallow monsters can be..... but then I had to get out in the morning. Yeah.

Although I have to admit. I've been doing this for 3 days, and I'm getting tired of my icecream tasting like fabric softener.

--------------------------------------------------

A combination of watching cats tugging on strings and $30 worth of chunky Chips Ahoy cookies were able to get my mind off the incident at the stairs. I checked on the health office, they said the guy was discharged but he's fine. However during the first few hours he was kinda in the need of a blood donation. Turns out mine is compatible with his, however I can't donate because currently the Red Cross doesn't accept blood with my type of defficiency. Now I feel helpful.

I need more Feline Tug-O-Wars videos. ~~Japanese~~ kitteh WAAANTS STRIIING!! shall be my new war cry.

2008-06-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

There's a Shell across the street to the bus stop that I pass through most days of the week. A bold bright yellow and orange sign is displayed near the intersection, and it happens to say;

Regular $4.75

I can't blame anybody if they want to run over that sign. I heard back home the regular price is around RM2? Well, multiply 4.75 by 3.0 something, think about that for a moment, and wipe the sweat from your brow.

But hey, I'm not complaining. I'm the one that refuses to even get my driver's license.

Lower-Body Terrestrial Locomotion For The Win!

Chateu' Le Meow

2008-06-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

Lately I've developed a fancy for using my housemate's grape-scented perfume. The bottle was left on the coffee table in the hall in plain sight. Nobody was home so I thought whats the harm in using an itty-bitty puff?

Althought later that night that itty-bitty puff turned into a not-so-itty-bitty grape-apalooza. I couldn't blame her when she came back home to ask why I smelled like a walking Ribena bottle. I told her what happened, but to my suprise she wasn't the slightest bit upset that I've used up a quarter of the bottle over a 2 day period. Infact it was the exact opposite, she was flattered. She's japanese, so it must be a cultural thingy that I haven't caught up with yet.

I'm not sure why, but women's perfume always fits me better than men's cologne. The latter smells as pleasant as 3-days worth of perspiration collected, thickened, and concentrated on the underbelly of a pack mule, frolicking in a field of daisies on a sunday morning.
Don't get me wrong though, I'm not turning gay (not that theres anything wrong with homosexuality, if you are). I like women. Women interest me. It's just that I'm in touch with my feminine side and I use that insight to make my life more, un-normal.

Depends if you want to take advise from an... ~~ordinary~~ monotony-challenged individual such as myself, but theres no harm in *insert modifier of choice* things up a bit.

What? Meow?

Smack Me

2008-06-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

I have the entire Sim 2 series on my harddrive (minus Freetime), with a lllliiiiippp-smackingly delicious screen resolution of 1280 by 800, on a 15-inch screen, with 3gb of RAM and a real 54.0 Mbps internet connection.

And I am... bored.

Refer to title. Please.

On another note, the KungFu Pan DAH VG has been released to the market. I have a soft spot for platform games, but if this certain VG doesn't have Ezen's likelyness in it (inside joke) I'd probably pass it down.

Because Calendars Are For Suckers

2008-06-06T17:59:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I finally had a mental breakdown.

On Saturday, I succumbed to 'hazwan sickness'. Which is characterized by a burning head, loss of sense of balance, a running faucet for a nose, decreased motor & cognitive skills, and sudden urges to use the bathroom. Liberally.

On Sunday, I kept my inner egomaniacal, attention-greedy self at bay (by thoughts of kittens frolicking in a field of daisies, all of which were on fire. Nonetheless) and accepted to alienate myself from my emotions, wants, needs and other aspects of what makes a person human, in order to keep my mind sane for the upcoming week.

I spent the night sprawled on the yard stargazing at a crystal clear pitch black sky. 5 minutes later it rained, heavily. For the first time in months. And I stayed where I was on the grass for the rest of the cold, wet night. No reason, no thoughts, no umbrella, no shoes, nothing but the feeling of raindrops against my drenched pyjamas.

On Monday, Finals started. Our maths test was cancelled because the prof. accidentally printed the wrong questions. Jubilation ensued, temporarily anyway. On the bus ride home I remembered I was terribly phobic of being drenched while clad in fabric. Hmm.

On Tuesday, while waiting for the bus I met this nice man seated on one of the benches. At first he asked for directions to the mall, and I gladly helped. We struck up a conversation later. It turns out he was a pilot for a commercial airline and was based in New Zealand. He and his crew were in town for the weekend off. When he asked where I was from I told him I'm Indonesian (for the sake of simplicity),but it turns out he knew were Malaysia was. Hmm.
He insisted he payed for my bus fare, even when I declined 3 times. Friendly bloke indeed.

On Wednesday, I walked by a group of girls who 'sexually harrased' me while I was on my way to the bus stop. They didn't really do anything other than yell out cat (irony) calls and taunts. I rather not repeat the things they said. However one of them uttered something regarding my " hamburger buns". Tell me dear reader, am I such an easy target?

Ezen said I should have looked back and said " Why, are you hungry?".

On Thursday, Finals are OVER, and so is my first ever college semester. Angela gave me a ride back home but we stopped by a gas station (over here they won't know what you mean by 'petrol'). to fill up her car. Guess what? $50 for 10 gallons. Yeah, which is why I refuse to drive a car. Inline skates are all the rage now.
Need to move in with Angela and her brother later, she hasn't finished teaching me some Spanish. Dos hombres y una mujer. De hecho.

Wonder what I should do this week. Dye my wig red? Visit a comedy club? Theres a jazz festival by a beach nearby, but college kids on summer break scares me like Siu Wern having PMS.(I wonder if you anger her enough instead of turning green and huge, she shrinks and turns into Furby-Celine. Dangerous but ADORABLE. Arrraawrrr!)

I've been reading up on the Freemasons lately. Intriguing group. Ancient but in this age their mainly a gentleman's club. What interests me so is that they instill a good sense of moral on members and challenge them to be critical free thinkers. Plus they do charity. My kinda people =).

Since I'm already 18 I might as well see if I could obtain membership. Read up on them, their quite an intriguing bunch.

Looks Deceive

2008-06-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

I miss you, fatty.

Sane

2008-05-30T17:56:00.001-07:00

Is what I am. After all these years, I've managed to learn to live with what I thought were my double (triple) personalities and not succumb to what I also thought were darker tendencies, only to realize yesterday, I wasn't haunted by anything. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

I went to meet with my English prof after-hours to discuss me jumping a class or two next semester. We began to chat a little when she began reaching for my bio card. Now what you have to understand is that at the start of the semester she gave us these rectangular, lined cards to write our names, goals, such and such in it. At the time, I didn't wrote whatever was written in it, if you catch my drift.

Before she could begin questioning me about it I came clean and told her I had self-diagnosed myself with schizophrenia at the age of 15 (I went to a self help group, long story). What I forgot was that she's a trained psycologist, and the following 15 minutes were filled with revelations and realizations that still boggles my mind to this second. Oh yea, I came out alright. The random voices in my head, the delusions, scheduled hallucinatons. The damned heightened emotional sensitivity to the environment around me.

All at the cost of my grip on reality. Or atleast thats what I thought. My symptoms are- mild. So to speak. All of which can be experienced by any other normal, mentally stable human being. I still hear random thoughts, but it turns out that they are quite tame. Not aggresive nor suggestive in nature, as would be the case for a real schizophrenic.

All that I suffer from is my cursed heightened-sensitivity to the universe around me and the resulting scramble effect it has on my control over my emotions. Which means I'm still koo-koo in the head but not just in the bad way anymore. Case in point; I realized on numerous occasions I've inadvertantly channeled it to aid me in my writing. Sorta like a silver lining.

Huh. Something tells me this could all be explained by the experiences I had in my mother's womb(again, long story). It's starting to make sense.

It feels weird, to know that your not a nutcase. Is this what you ordinary people call "normal"?

If so, its kinda boring.

Epiphany;

2008-05-29T02:07:00.000-07:00

In other words, the comprehension or perception of 'reality' by means of a sudden intuitive realizaton. In my case, I understood which set of mind I've been missing all this time thats crucial to the stability of my sanity.

Pie. Not cherry or apple neither. A pie made out of a solid filling of chocolate, no crust. Owh and the pan holding it should be made out of chocolate too. If only life was that simple.

Amazing what you could contemplate when it's 2.am and you're awake on the count of your sleep pattern is shot to hell by mid-day cat naps.

I might need to rethink what I just wrote. Something tells me the correlation between pies and the condition of my sanity isn't quite obvious.

Longer I Say!

2008-05-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Because, my 6-year-old pencil box was running out of space. I need longer legs.

Wait waaaahh

2008-05-23T20:52:00.001-07:00

Whats with both of these two and dancing in their undies?

Oh wait, I would've done the same thing too...

Dudes got nice legs.

What the Deuce

2008-05-21T19:19:00.004-07:00

21st May 7.06 pm

As most of you know or do not know, at the beginning of this year's American Idol season I reserved the chance to get tickets to a show online, but they've put me on a waiting list. So 3 months passed by until last Thursday/Friday I received an email from the ticket company saying I could finally actually reserve my tickets.

So I went online and managed to get 3 of them. All in my name. The only little snag was the date and time of the show. The 20th of May, 12pm to 6pm.

Coincidentally, I had a fairly important exam from 2.30 to 4.30 on the same day. How convenient.

I couldn't sell the tickets because that would be illegal. I couldn't give the tickets away because I'm the only one who could redeem them. If I did went to the show with 2 other people, the queue itself starts at 10 pm and strethces a good length of Sunset Boulevard, in the blazing California desert sun. And even if I went alone, I could only enter when I have a full party (2 others with me).

The coming of summer brings out alot of drama in Hollywood. More so than usual.

I know I know, I don't even watch the show and I got tickets to see the finale. Which I didn't went to. To actual fans of AI *cough*, feel free to whack me silly anytime soon.

Also, WHAT THE DEUCE. The results show hasn't even started yet and he supposedly "won". By 12-fricking-million votes?!

In other news. How in the world did I let Juliana make me promise to accompany her to shop for clothes on the weekend? The soles under my shoes melt away whenever I step foot into a girly-themed store.

No Juliana, I don't want to shop for undergarments with you. Eww (and no dear reader, she doesn't read my blog)

"No More Class On Monday!"

2008-05-17T21:46:00.002-07:00

And you thought I looked silly in the hat.

Look at him. Adorable.

Happy Graduation Day Arvind! Your one day closer to paying back Aunt Leela for your tuition =p

Happy Parent's Day

2008-05-10T21:54:00.003-07:00

So yea, for most of you who don't know, I was born on the 9th of May, in the year 1990. Which coincidentally happened to be Mothers Day.

Now I was going to write a piece for this day, but I lost momentum midway. What I wrote so far came from the deepest reaches of my messed up soul, I just wrote and wrote without thinking how I could link the idea of this sentence to the next. So when I do complete this, keep in mind who's blog your currently in.

I'm bad at writing single sentences that would make you stop and think "woooaahhh". So I'll throw in as many as I can and hope for the best. Heh.

Now, I typing from the top of my head. I do not know about you, but I came from a family thats been slowly falling apart at the seams, and most of the worst things that scarred my sanity and whatevers left of my ability to feel joy, happened on my birthdays. Which explains my pessimistic attitude in my previous post.

I'm not going to say something like "my parents were perfect in my eyes", because they werent. I'm not going to leave the impression I was a spoilt rich brat from a family that smothers him in wealth instead of compassion, because I'm not. I'm not going to say my family was a perfect 4-member group with actual family dinners, happy memories included. As if everyday was a fricking television show.

It's more like one of those cliche telenovelas. Except for the "to be continued" part. I wish I could do that, wake up one day and everything was honky dory. But no, instead I'm slapped hard in the face by reality.

My parents weren't 'the best', neither did 'they rock'. They were decent. In short I wished my relationship with them was better than what I actually went through. However the last time I checked, I'm not Hiro Nakamura.

As much as I disdained them, I love them. I'm still their son and their still my parents. You try being on a hi-bye-goodnite-get up and drive me to school already-relationship for 11 years. I want to stay angry and distance myself from them for the rest of my life, but I'm 18. I'm mature now. I'm not going to make the same mistakes my parents did, neither am I going to live the rest of my life with unresolved issues.

Also, I find Mother's Day to be a huuuuge cliche. Dad had a role too you know, no matter how little or big it was. So I've combined Mom's Day and Dad's Day into Parent's Day =p

So Mom and Dad, I rarely say this, the only time I did was on Hari Raya in mumbled breath, but thanks for everything. Thanks for working the hours you commit, thanks for getting food on the table, thanks for waking up in the middle of the nite to change my diaper, thanks for letting me sleep with you guys during the time I was phobic of thunder, thanks for complying whenever I (rarely) asked for anything, thanks for your laidback and accepting nature towards my personal life, thanks for your encouragement and help in letting me study in the US, and thanks for doing your part in raising me up to be who I am now. (eventhough ironically, I learn what I did about life from TV)

I know you two did your best, and to my readers. Before you think of me as being Boo-Hoo Billy who thinks he has the worst life in the world, heed these words.

My parents didnt do much of a good job, but I'm thankful for how I turned out, it could have been worse. So thanks Mom and Dad.

Happy Parents Day.